As parent/teacher conferences approach, everyone involved is anxious. It is not unusual for a seasoned teacher to have "jitters," so the novice teacher with a bundle of nerves has plenty of company, trust me – you are not alone. Parents are fearful of what they may be told; students are nervous about what their teachers will say about them, and teachers get uneasy about speaking to parents and how they may react. The wise teacher plans ahead for conferences and has all materials assembled in advance.
Parent/teacher conferences are one place where parents and teachers meet across the table and attempt to focus on a shared goal - the educational welfare of one child. No matter what you intend to say or how difficult the child is, the conference should be positive, friendly, and productive. Every parent should hear something optimistic. A good teacher will point out any special skills, contributions, or kind gestures a student has made in the class. Try keeping an index card file on each student. When they do something positive, jot it down so you can use it at the conference. Find something encouraging, and begin with good news.
Truthfully, parents want to make a connection with you, so they feel comfortable contacting you in the future. They need to be assured that their child is learning to the best of his or her ability. A safe and supportive environment is also high on the priority list. Ultimately, parents want to be involved in making decisions that affect their child's school experience. Each parent deserves some detailed feedback about their child. Make your association with the parent personal, heartfelt, and sincere.
On the day of the conference, here are some suggestions to get the meeting off to a good start.
First and foremost, if you want to be treated like a professional, dress like one.
Create a script including introductions and rehearse it.
Prepare a checklist of items you need to cover with each parent, so you do not lose track of time.
Greet parents at the door with a smile and a handshake, and make sure to verify names immediately.
Create an inviting classroom environment, and sit with parents in a section of the room that does not involve your intimidating desk.
Have extra chairs handy and a box of activities for small children, just in case.
Create a folder for each student which includes examples of his or her work, and use these models to demonstrate progress and needed improvements.
Your role is also to point out areas where the child still needs to develop. Even the parents of the best students should leave you with an action plan.
Do your speaking first, but be certain to leave enough time for the parent to have a chance to talk as well. When it is their turn to speak, be sure to listen. Do not interrupt. Nod politely, so they know you are paying attention to them. Be prepared with a notepad and a pen. Use a clean sheet of paper for each student. At the end, clarify the important points of what the parent told you. Occasionally, parents get off topic. It is here that you must re-focus the attention back to the task at hand. Time is limited, and you need to discuss academic progress. Keep chit-chat to a minimum.
Not to get negative, but let me give you just a little warning. Parent/teacher conferences usually occur around the time report cards are sent home. Tensions can be high when grades do not seem to coincide with what parents expect from their children. A teacher has to be prepared for just about anything, especially when a child is not progressing academically, or has had discipline problems. Keep a discipline log, recording specific disturbances. Include the date, problem behavior, and action taken. Keep the written language non-judgmental and stick to the facts. This procedure will help you to identify patterns and adds more credibility to your discussion when speaking with the child's parent. Believe me; parents want concrete examples. Conferences like these may require a definite action plan that you create with the parent, but ideas for that plan should be considered by you well in advance.
Collaboration between parents and teachers is not always a smooth process. It is natural to feel nervous. A parent, especially in the earlier years of their child’s life, will likely be an advocate for their child. You cannot feel threatened by that fact. The child is the parent’s own flesh and blood. When your comments turn less than positive, a parent may try to argue with you. Arguments require two sides; do not give in to the argument. The parent is hearing you, somewhere inside.
Often parents with difficult children want to blame someone else. Do not let parents lead you down the path of discussing other students. It is highly unprofessional. Other pitfalls to avoid are talking about other teachers, chatting about a sibling, psychoanalyzing the child, or the excessive use of educational buzzwords. Accept the difficult situation, and do your best to work with the parent. It is not a competition. The only winner here should be the child. Getting him or her back on track is the ultimate goal. Make sure that the parent knows you are on their side and that you have the same agenda – helping the child to learn all he or she can.
Whether the conference was completely positive or had moments of difficulty, end it with a proactive message of hope. Set goals. Review how the parent can help. Make clear any decisions that you have made together. Let parents know their support is needed and appreciated. It can be effective to create a hand-out which includes contact information and practice websites. If any follow-up contact is needed, confirm the information before the parent walks out the door.
The key word to a successful conference is simple, RESPECT. Keep in mind that parents know their children better than anyone. They are a child’s first teacher, and they are proud of their accomplishments with that child. You are the educational professional, but a parent is the child specialist. The students in your class are all someone's beloved child. Seeing each child in the very best light is all that any parent wants from you. Show each parent that you have done just that and your conferencing experience will be a complete success. Good luck!
