By Heather Skipworth Craven
"Some values are... like sugar on the doughnut, legitimate, desirable, but insufficient, apart from the doughnut itself. We need substance as well as frosting."
- Ralph Tyler Flewelling
"The best thing to give your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity."
- Balfour
Our present day culture is one of overabundance for most of us and for many children a seemingly, endless stream of material things. It is a challenging task to teach children to be both gracious receivers and thoughtful givers. In other words, with our "instant gratification" society--and with some kids (and adults too for that matter)--it's more, more... it's never enough. Teaching kids to value a gift, no matter how small, tangible or intangible, is vital.
I am reminded of a story told to me many times by my precious, late older brother, that I think illustrates the premise that "value is in the eye, mind and heart of the beholder." The story is told of two little boys, one an extreme optimist and the other very much a pessimist. An experiment was held to see if once the children were placed in certain environments, their perspectives would change. So the pessimist child was placed in a room filled with every toy and plaything imaginable. And the optimist child was placed in a room filled with horse manure. Both children were kept in their respective rooms for an hour. When the door was opened into the room with the pessimist, the room was a mass of broken, torn and disheveled toys--among which this child sat crying and whining about how NONE of these toys were any good. The room that housed the optimist was entered only to find that child eagerly and enthusiastically digging into the great pile of manure. When this child was frantically asked what in the world he was doing, he excitedly replied, "I know he's in here somewhere! Where there's horse poop, there's a pony!!!"
It seems to be a sad but unfortunately a stark reality that our society has put so much emphasis on the "he who has the MOST toys, wins!" perspective. Is it any wonder that the number of violent incidents involving children has increased? Human life and basic values have taken a nosedive in comparison to our culture's need for convenience and material goods. Children battle the influences of the media, television, movies, radio, music, which constantly dangle the carrots of the latest fad, fashion, or mania in front of their impressionable minds and outstretched hands. How can we influence children away from the mind set that a person's worth is based upon their possessions, instead of their innate worth as a unique human being?
The last eight years of my teaching experience were spent in classrooms for students with severe behavior/emotional disorders. A large percentage of these students were survivors of appalling physical, emotional abuse, and neglect. Their self-esteem was virtually nonexistent. And yet, it never ceased to amaze me how in a nurturing environment, the ability to value themselves and others would blossom and begin to grow. I believe there is a part of the human spirit in us all that cannot grow unless it learns the value of life and gives part of itself to others. When we instill in our students the desire to give of themselves to others, I believe we are doing more to nurture self-esteem and encourage growth of the spirit. As the Christmas season fast approaches, in the midst of all the rush and excitement of preparation, let's take time to teach our students to treasure the lasting joy of what it means to value both the gift and the giver.
Read our tip entitled
"To Teach Kids About Giving".
